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News and Opinions about MS, Health & Disability

Wheelchair partners – from ‘my rock’ to hard places

on April 22, 2016

wheelchair young wheelchair mid

Wednesday’s question about staying with a partner who used a wheelchair was quite enlightening with a much greater response than expected. And, while the ‘research sample’ was not representative of society as a whole, it certainly brought out some personal tales of love and others of sadness.

I am not a researcher or a statistician so there will be no attempt to analyse the answers in terms of numbers. Detailed facts and figures are not what we need, it’s more an impression.

When looking towards the future, most people answered that they would stay but those that spoke from experience had both happy and sad stories to tell. Here are just a few:

Keith: My ex waited for my final diagnosis .. 34 years down the pan ..lol

Sarah: Damn right I would, I waited 29 years for my man, and I would never leave his side xx

KD: That’s a great question, because I’m the woman in the wheel chair, and had meets with my cane, and they told me they didn’t date women with canes…. I haven’t bothered to try and date now that my legs are going.

Simone: I would, but my ex-partner didn’t… 🙁

Helen: My husband is my rock since I becoming paralysed… If anything it has made our relationship stronger…

Jesse: My wife just left 2 months ago.

Maggie: I DID STAY….RIGHT TO THE END. AND WOULD HAVE HAD IT NO OTHER WAY….MISS THAT GUY SO MUCH…

Karen: I have given my husband the option to leave on several occasions. so far he has stayed but I know he has considered leaving.

Antonio: 33 years she has stood by my side, led, had my back . . .she has pushed and pulled when we needed to. . . so I would without missing a heartbeat!!

Janice: Mine left me to fight this mostly alone except my Dad, Stepmother and Stepsister that isn’t including the dogs Including MY dog.

Tami: Many of you are VERY blessed! This is my 2nd marriage; I’m not sure if he’s on his way out or if I’m giving him the push that he needs to “go”… I just know that it’s happening because I can’t stand the thought of making him stay & I feel HE can’t stand the thought of having to stay – It sucks because I’m only 48 & I’m already seeing myself alone for the rest of my life – But it IS what it IS I suppose.

Jason: I’ve just started getting worse and using a cane 100% of the time now, my fiancé of 5yrs now decides this isn’t for her, she wants a man that can run with her…. It’s not easy trying to stay positive and keep fighting this Monster.

Dave: Mine kicked me out. “What good are you for me anymore?”

Sammi: When I was first diagnosed I thought my fiancé of 9 years would be with me still now but sadly 2 days later he ended our relationship which hit me really hard. But I then met someone else 6 years later who I had told from the start of our relationship and when I started worsening after 3 years together it happened all over again…we split just before our 4th year together and the utter feeling of sadness and stressing coz of it I ended up being in a wheelchair myself and now live alone!! With just my mum who’s my primary career and lives just round the corner, but I say it to her often that this is all round the wrong way it should be me looking after her not her looking after me!! But if I was with someone who was in a wheelchair I’d stay with them coz I’d see past the chair and see the person…. Sad it wasn’t that way for me and have lost faith that I would ever find that someone special who WOULD see past my chair.

 

 


2 Responses to “Wheelchair partners – from ‘my rock’ to hard places”

  1. Kenny Moorr says:

    My wife has ms and I’m not going anywhere. I took a vow in sickness and health. I love her now as much as I did 25 years ago

  2. Lance Schultz says:

    I practiced as an optometrist from 1984 through my diagnosis in 2007 up until I couldn’t do it any longer in 2013. When I had to retire and landed in a wheelchair. A few months later my wife tells me she doesn’t love me anymore and that she doesn’t want to be there with me, but she won’t divorce me. She doesn’t want people to think she was abandoning me…ROLMFAO.
    That’s not my idea of a marriage so I had her served with divorce papers…now I’m the bad guy.

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